Matthew

If you had to describe your job to a 3rd grader, how would you describe it and why is it important?
Matthew: I tell computers what to do and how to do it. Computers only do exactly as they're told. Like a mischievous genie granting wishes, they will usually grant your wish exactly as you have worded it, but not how you wanted it. My job is to figure out the best ways to outsmart that genie and get my wish, and to pass on that knowledge to my team so they can also get their wishes.

What is your favorite part of your job?
Matthew: The great team here at Essette is easily my favorite part of the job. Everyone is willing to go above and beyond to help each other out. I also like solving problems, and that's the core of my work.

What do you like to do in your free time?
Matthew: I enjoy gaming of all forms. This includes table-top gaming (puzzle games, word games, trivia games) and video games. I enjoy Dungeons and Dragons as a player and a Dungeon Master. My wife and I are insanely competitive with each other when playing Scrabble.

Which animal best represents your personality?
Matthew: The aardwolf! They are shy and nocturnal. They seem to be solitary animals, but they can be quite social. They are not fast runners, nor are they very good at fighting off predators. When they're threatened, they try to mislead or outsmart their foes, and try to appear more menacing than they actually are. Plus, they show up near the beginning of the dictionary, only behind aardvarks. That strategy seemingly works for the various "AAAA Auger" companies in the phone book.

Do you have a life theme song? Why or why not? And if so, what is it?
Matthew: I'm a sucker for songs with booming horns and complicated rhythms, so I'll have to go with Coconut Champagne, written by Denis DiBlasio and performed by the late great Maynard Ferguson and his band.

What's your dream car and why?
Matthew: It would have to be fully autonomous, because I would love to travel more, but I don't really like to fly, either. Seeing as it can take nearly 20 hours just to get out of my home state of Texas, it would be nice to let somebody or something else do the driving. Also, my dream car needs lots of leg room and head room. It's starting to sound like a town car or a limo, to be honest.

What's your favorite snack at the office?
Matthew: My favorite is easily the jerky. Occasionally I like to mix it up with some fruit leather, but that's just fruit jerky, right?

If you could have any one superpower, what would it be?
Matthew: I believe the Zach Morris "time stop" is probably the best superpower. Admittedly, I would probably just use it to stop time and take long naps, but at least I would be well rested.

If you could have lunch with any famous person, who would it be?
Matthew: I would love to get a chance to have a chat with Alan Turing, the father of theoretical computer science and artificial intelligence, and a quiet behind-the-scenes hero of World War II.

What is your favorite book and why?
Matthew: Conceptually, I've always loved Eaters of the Dead by Michael Crichton. Basically, he wrote it on a dare that he couldn't rewrite the epic of Beowulf and package it as non-fiction. I've always enjoyed the story of Beowulf. Crichton adapted the story to be told from the point of view of an Arabic man observing the Vikings, and included lots of footnotes in the book with sources. There were somewhat rational justifications for a lot of the "fantasy" elements in the story, including an explanation for the dragon. The problem is, Crichton forgot to keep track of which sources were real and which ones he made up, so in the end even he doesn't know how much of the story is fiction. I was disappointed in the film adaptation The 13th Warrior. But if I'm honest, Jurassic Park is a much better novel from Crichton.